Friday, October 30, 2009

Boobs' Locks of the Week

Ucla at Oregon St -9.5
Last week, the Arizona line was at 9 before moving to 7.5 by the end of the week meaning people were betting on UCLA to cover. Why? No clue. I won my lock of the week because UCLA is a bad football team. Arizona turned it over 5 times and still won by 2 touchdowns. Translation: It could have been much worse. UCLA goes on the road again this week to Oregon St., a team similar to Arizona. They gave USC a fight last week, and hopefully there is no letdown from that. Again, the line started at 10 and it has now moved to 9.5. We'll see if Vegas or the betters win this round. I'm going with Vegas and the Beavers.

NFL Lock of the Week
Minnesota +3 at Green Bay
I want to start this by saying I hate every single line this week in the NFL. The reason I like the Vikings is I think they are the most complete team in the NFC. They have everything except a competent coach. Good teams like Minnesota don't lose two games in a row. Especially when a dropped pass and a blown call have them upset about the loss. They are angry. They are getting three points. Take Minnesota.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Adrian Puts His Trucker Hat On

Yes. I know. The Vikings lost today. Tripping on Dugan? Give me a break. Watching the Vikings lose a game that they should have won was not enjoyable. However, watching Adrian Peterson absolutely destroy William Gay was enjoyable.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Boobs' Locks of the Week

When you get embarrassed like I did last week you need to change things up. It starts with the name of this post. Technically I tied on the Air Force game even though the line moved to 10.5 later in the week. I consider that a loss. I won't even go into what happened in my other lock (Giants pass rush please report to Tom Coughlin's office, Giants pass rush to Coughlin's office please). I am also simplifying the picks for this week. Hopefully these changes lead to a couple W's.
I love Arizona's passing game and although their defense struggled a little bit against Stanford last week, it hasn't been too bad this year. I don't think UCLA is any good whatsoever. Oregon didn't have their starting qb and won by 2 td's. Cal's struggling offense put up 45 last week in a 19 point win. Arizona's offense has been lights out. UCLA's offense stinks. Arizona is at home. Go with the Wildcats this week.
Final: Arizona 35, UCLA 20
NFL Lock of the week
Indianapolis (-14) at St. Louis
Do I have to specify? Indy baby.
I don't see how the colts won't win by at least two touchdowns. Peyton Manning is the best QB on the planet right now. What do you get when the best QB and possibly best team in the NFL has two weeks to prepare for a lousy Rams Team? A beatdown. I hope the Rams are spending more time scouting the college players this week than preparing for the colts. They need some playmakers when the draft comes next april, especially on defense. O yeah, and Bob Sanders is supposed to be back.

Final: Indianapolis 31, St. Louis 3

Friday, October 16, 2009

Chad Ochocinco Is A Class Act

Say what you want about the guy, but behind all the hoopla and antics, I believe he has a plan. What NFL player garners as much attention as #85? Especially for a team such as the Bengals, although their fortunes seem to have turned this year. He also seems to go out of his way to help fans/give fans the entertainment we pay them for. These athletes get payed millions of dollars to play a game, so for my money I want to see the most ridiculous show possible! Ochocinco provides that as best he can, and I praise him for it. Alas the reason for this post, Chad is partnering with Motorola to buy the 1,200 tickets needed to prevent a blackout and let the game be televised. The situation is fairly sad, thinking you get to see a 4-1 team (should be 5-0) against a team with a very talented offense. So hats off to Chad Ochocinco and keep up the good work.

ALCS Preview: Yankees vs. Angels

So the Angels finally got past the Red Sox and the Yankees didn't implode in the postseason (yet). In a couple of series marred by terrible blown calls by the umps, both of these teams came away with clean sweeps. The Angels did what no one has done before in the postseason, get to Jonathan Papelbon; and the Yankees' timely hitting, good starts, and crushing of Joe Nathan's soul brought them to the next round.

Both of these teams are playing with such a passion that when the two collide, the results should be very entertaining. The two teams are actually pretty evenly matched, they had the most wins and runs in all of Major League Baseball, and their head to head record this year was 5-5. Mark Teixeira will be facing his old team, and Bobby Abreu will be facing his as well. Both of these teams seem to be playing their best baseball at the right time. All of the ingredients for a great series, minus the steroids..(well...).

Both of these teams have a great rotation, both offenses have been ridiculous (the Angels are the only team in MLB history to have 11 players with 50+ RBI each. The Yankees get the edge in starting pitching, but the Angels' speed gives them the edge on offense. Both have capable bullpens and solid closers.

Lady and Gentlemen, what we have here is damn near a push. Crack open your 40s and let's hope for a competitive series to wake us up from those lame divisional series'.

Players to watch: CC Sabathia, Alex Roidriguez, Torii Hunter, Scott Kazmir, Brian Fuentes

The Prediction:

Angels in 7

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Get Your Popcorn Ready, Chicago

Rumors are swirling about T.O. possibly being traded to the Chicago Bears. The Bears are in need of a top receiver and Owens could be the weapon that they need. What would the Bills get in return for Owens? Are there other teams that are interested in him? Where do babies come from? These are the questions that remain to be answered.

Boobs' team you should bet on if betting were legal lock of the week

Since I haven't lost a football bet in 3 weeks, well teams I would have bet on if I was in Vegas anyway, I decided to start a lock of the week to make sure I jinx myself and not win another bet for the rest of the year. But if my streak is to continue here are the two teams (1 college, 1 Pro) I like this weekend and why.

Wyoming (+10) at Air Force (-10)
Why: Air Force's losses this year: at Minnesota (by 7) because of a fluke fumble the Gophers returned for a touchdown, at Navy (in overtime by 3), the same Navy team that had the No. 7 ranked Ohio St on the ropes in Colombus, and No. 12 TCU by 3 points last week. They run the triple option and play in the mountain air. Not good news for a road Wyoming team this week, that frankly, just isn't very good. They have won some close games this year against Florida Atlantic, UNLV, and the powerhouse Weber St. They got blanked by Colorado 24-0.
Bottom Line: On a neutral field Air Force is two touchdowns better. At home they could be 3. Yeah i'll take Air Force and give the points.
Final Score: Air Force 31, Wyoming 10
(Also Considered: West Virginia -20 against Marshall, Colorado St +22 at TCU)

N.Y. Giants (+3) at New Orleans (-3)
WHY: I wanted to take the Falcons over Bears, but since I am a huge Falcons fan I decided that would probably come off as bias and no one would believe me anyway. So I'm going to take the game of the week instead. I think the Giants are the best team in the NFC. Going on the road doesn't matter to them, they have been the best road team in the NFL the last two years. When they won the Super Bowl two years ago they did by beating Tampa Bay, Dallas, and Green Bay on the road. Even though I don't like Eli Manning (really you're too good to play with LT in 75 degree weather year-round), he plays better on the road and under pressure. The Giants will run the ball, control the clock, and not turn the ball over. Eli will make plays when he has to. The Giants defensive line will force Brees into uncharacteristic mistakes. And in case you forgot, it's not like the Saints offense has been on fire the last two games against the Bills and Jets.
Bottom Line: The Giants are better and underdogs. They won't give the Saints 14 points from turnovers. I am assuming Eli Manning is healthy and I haven't heard anything to contradict that. The Giants will win AND just in case you get three points. Take the Giants.
Final Score: N.Y.Giants 27, New Orleans 20
(Also Considered: Atlanta-3 against the Bears, Jets -9 against the Bills)

DISCLAIMER: Schrempf Scampi is not responsible for any bets that you would have made and any money you would have lost if betting were legal.

NLCS Preview: Phillies vs. Dodgers

Well, the Dodgers did a great job of making me look like an idiot when I doubted that pitching rotation that actually pitched very well. Of course, maybe take away one Matt Holliday nutshot and we have a different series, but that's baseball and now we're treated to what looks like it will be a really really good NLCS.

Again we have another scary rotation in the Phillies (who even got a save from Brad Lidge!), with King Cole taking the mound tonight against Clayton Kershaw. I think the key will be whether or not the Dodgers starters can continue to go deep into the game to hand a lead off to the bullpen to preserve, if that's the case then it's over for the Phillies. The Dodgers also have impressive players coming off the bench in Jim Thome, Juan Pierre, Orlando Hudson, etc. That could also be the difference. However, the Phillies have been in this same spot...last year even, and now they have Cliff Lee, Raul Ibanez, J. A. Happ, among others who are ready to step up and bring them back to the World Series.

I think the Dodgers get a couple shaky starts that lead to a couple losses, but bounce right back in this back in forth series to knock off the defending champs in a decisive Game 7.

Players to watch: Cole Hamels, Clayton Kershaw, J. A. Happ, George Sherrill, Dodgers bench players

The Prediction:

Dodgers in 7

Oh yeah, this series even brought us this awesome little image from's frontpage:

You're sittin on a goldmine, Trebek!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Schrempf Scampi's Lost 2009 MLB Postseason Picks

Fashionably late, here they are:


Red Sox over Angels 3-2
Yankees Over Twins 3-1

Rockies over Phillies 3-1
Cardinals over Dodgers 3-1

Red Sox over Yankees 3-1

Cardinals over Rockies 4-2

World Series
Cardinals over Red Sox 4-3

Chris Carpenter

Bold Random Prediction... AJ Burnett falls apart in the postseason and doesn't record a win and ends up with a 10+ postseason ERA.


Twins are going to win play in game.

Angels over Red Sox (Finally) 3-1
Yankees Over Twins 3-1

Rockies over Phillies 3-1
Cardinals over Dodgers 3-2

Angels over Yankees 4-3

Rockies over Cardinals 4-3

World Series
Rockies over Angels 4-2

Ubaldo Jimenez

Bold Random Prediction... Ubaldo jimenez hits 100 in the ninth inning of his game 6 complete game shutout


Angels over Red Sox
Twins over Yankees

Phillies over Rockies
Cardinals over Dodgers

Angels over Twins

Cardinals over Phillies

World Series
Angels over Cardinals

Torii Hunter

Vanilla Gorilla

Angels over Red Sox- 3-2
Yankees over Twins- 3-2

Rockies over Phillies 3-1
Cards over Dodgers 3-1

Yankees over Angels 3-2

Rockies over Cards 4-2

World Series

Rockies over Yankees 4-3


Red Sox over Angels 3-1 (ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz what's new)
Twins over Yankees 3-1 (Clinchin in the Dome!!!)

Red Sox over Twins 4-1 (Clinchin in the Dome!!!)

Phillies over Rockies 3-2
Cardinals over Dodgers 3-1

Cardinals over Phillies 4-3

World Series
Red Sox over Cardinals 4-1

Josh Beckett

Random Bold Prediction: I pee all over the seats in the Metrodome when the Red Sox win the ALCS.


Halos over Sox 3-2
Yanks over Twins 3-1

Phillies over Rocktober 3-1
Cards over Mannywood 3-1

Yanks over Halos 4-1

Phillies over Cards 4-3

World Series
Phillies over Yankees 4-3

Ryan Howard

Bold Random Prediction
If the boys from the City of Brotherly Love (and battery throwing) becoming the first NL team to repeat since the 75-76 Reds isn't good enough I'll go with Ryan Howard only striking out 6 times in their 18 games they'll play.



Twins over Yankeesin 4
Angels over Red Sox in 3

Twins over Angels in 6


Rockies over Phillies in 5
Cardinals over Dodgers in 5


Cardinals over Rockies in 6

World Series

Twins over Cardinals in 7


Michael Cuddyer

Bold Random Prediction: Alexi Casilla will properly tag up in the playoffs



Twins over Yankees in 5
Red Sox over Angels in 4


Twins over Red Sox in 6


Phillies over Rockies in 4
Cardinals over Dodgers in 4


Phillies over Cardinals in 7

World Series

Twins over Phillies in 6

WS MVP: Jason Kubel

BOLD : Brad Lidge saves every game

Monday, October 12, 2009

Most Disgusting Game in NFL History?

Imagine a game with 4 turnovers, 16 penalties, a combined 10-33 on 3rd down conversions, no touchdowns, 16 punts, and this impressive line:

Derek Anderson: 2/17, 23 yds, 1 INT

That, my friends is the lowest completion percentage by a quarterback in a win (minimum 15 attempts) since the merger.

Fitting that this game would end 6-3 on a late field goal by Browns backup kicker Billy Cundiff set up by Roscoe Parrish muffing a punt.

It appears to be another expected season of ineptitude for the Cleveland Browns, but Buffalo fans have to be extremely disappointed in their team. They had visions of winning the AFC East while the Patriots still lick their wounds but are now 1-4. Not quite what they had in mind when they brought in quarterback-enthusiast Terrell Owens.

Oh yeah, and one more thing from this game I found:

The Browns' two completions are the fewest for a winning team since the Bengals did it in a 31-21 win over Denver on Oct. 22, 2000. Corey Dillon had 278 of the Bengals' 407 yards rushing. Akili Smith went 2 of 9 for 34 yards and Scott Mitchell missed all five attempts.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

NLDS Preview: Cardinals vs. Dodgers

This has potential to be the best of the first round playoff series. Great pitching and a lot of offense are the strengths for both of these teams. The acquisition of Matt Holliday is working out pretty well, he was straight murdering the ball right away. He's back down to earth since then, but is definitely a key part of the Cardinals offense. The Dodgers had some trouble closing out the season, and Manny Ramirez has looked like...well... a guy that's no longer on steroids, but there's always a chance he'll find his stick in the playoffs, and between him, Matt Kemp, and Andre Ethier there's a lot of danger for a quick burst of offense.

Cardinals Player to Watch:

Matt Holliday, St. Louis definitely does not regret going after this guy as he has solidified himself as a key part of the Cardinals offense, which really wasn't all that bad to begin with...Albert Pujols, maybe you've heard of him? Let's not forget that Holliday's a free agent after this, so he'll definitely want to use this opportunity to fatten up any potential contract that's on the horizon after this postseason, I'm expecting big things from him.

Honorable Mentions: Ryan Ludwick, Chris Carpenter, Ryan Franklin

Dodgers Player to Watch:

Clayton Kershaw, this kid got off to a great start this season before a shoulder injury hampered him. He's been kinda sketchy ever since. The Dodgers need their pitching in general to come up big and keep up with the superior Cardinals staff.

Honorable Mentions: Andre Ethier, Jonathan Broxton, Manny Ramirez

The Prediction:

While it does have potential to be the best matchup, to me the Cardinals pitching staff is just too good, and the Dodgers have too many question marks at the wrong time of the season. Carpenter, Wainwright, and Piniero are a lethal 1-2-3 punch and just might be enough to get a clean sweep of the Dodgers right back to Mannywood to lick their wounds. Speaking of, ManRam has been in a big slump lately and I just don't think he'll recover. The Cardinals get the edge in every aspect of this one to me, I like them to sweep.

Cardinals in 3

ALDS Preview: Yankees vs. Twins

This is the game where the Yankees are supposed to roll over whichever crappy team ends up winning the AL Central (apologies to Fox for their stupid commercials where it shows the Tigers will be in the postseason). ESPN experts across the board picked the Yankees to easily handle the Twins (why not? The Twins are 0-7 against the Yanks this season), and most have picked the Yankees to go all the way and bring home their first World Series win since 2000, or an eternity if you're a Yankees fan. The Yankees recent postseason attempts haven't gone well, they've choked, choked, and choked some more. Oh yeah...and this. But talk to any Yankees fan and they don't wanna live in the past (unless they pull out the obligatory "kiss the rings" cop-out), nope, they're all about living in the now. Their team went out and spent enough money to buy Nigeria this offseason and are convinced that these are the guys to finally bring home another title.

But it's never quite as simple as that. Let's start with their "scary" rotation. their ace Carsten Charles Sabathia is a known postseason choke-artist (2-3 in 5 starts, the only thing scary about him is his postseason ERA of 7.92 if you're a Yankees fan), AJ Burnett has been real shaky as of late, Andy Pettitte has question marks of his own as of late. Then of course you have the king of postseason choking, Alex Rodriguez.

Anytime someone brings up the Twins' chances in this series, that magical word is always brought up... "momentum." Yes the Twins have been arguably baseball's best team over the past month, they just capped off a never-before-seen comeback to win the AL Central for the 5th time in 8 years. Momentum is definitely on the side of the Twinkies, even when they have more question marks on that team than I can even explore in one blog post, they're just getting it done any way they can.

So which team shows up? The team that hasn't been able to beat the Yankees over the past decade or the gritty team that finds ways to win no matter how much the odds are against them?

Yankees Player to Watch:

Alex Rodriguez, A-Roid is licking his chops waiting to show the world why the Yankees gave him a $700 billion contract and silence his critics once and for all.. or at least for a few days. The pressure is definitely on him, but will he choke? Try to swat a ball out of Michael Cuddyer's glove? Or yell "I Got it" as he rounds the bases on an infield pop-up?

Honorable Mentions: CC Sabathia, Mark Teixiera, Joba Chamberlain

Twins Player to Watch:

Brian Duensing

Congratulations rookie, in your 10th career start you get a trip to the Bronx to face the Yankees as a heavy underdog against a former Cy Young winner. If Duensing can keep up his unexpectedly awesome rookie season, that will be the key to the Twins competing with the Yankees. A good start from him will give an undoubtedly tired bullpen some much needed rest.

Honorable Mentions: Nick Blackburn, Michael Cuddyer, Delmon Young

The Prediction:

Momentum. Is. Everything. However, as tempted as I am to pick with my heart...and I really am, my head is prevailing and I'm saying the Yankees will handle the Twins in 4 games, thus continuing the recent struggles of the Twinkies against the Yanks. I do think the Twins will win one at the Dome behind a fired up crowd...and I do like the Twins chances to win at least 1 in New York, hell they came 1 run away from doing it 3 out of 4 times this season. Unfortunately I think this is the year the Yankees right the ship.

Yankees in 4.

NLDS Preview: Rockies vs. Phillies

Pitching, pitching, and more pitching is what this series comes down to. The Phillies have one of the strongest rotations in the postseason with a couple of Cy Young winners, World Series MVP, and possibly a Rookie of the Year. However, the Rockies pitching is a lot more improved than it was in 2006. They're the only team in the majors to have all 5 starters reach double digit wins, and Jason Marquis continues his unlikely streak of playing in the postseason for 10 straight years but hasn't been looking sharp as of late. The Phillies have been a little shaky as of late, but definitely are ready to defend their title. The giant question mark is Brad Lidge who was perfect for saves last year, this year he's been anything but.

Rockies Player to Watch:

Ubaldo Jimenez, the Rockies need Ubaldo to step up big time and shut down the Phillies right away in Game 1. I'm thinking he will be the key to their postseason success.

Honorable Mentions: Troy Tulowitzski, Todd Helton

Phillies Player to Watch:

Brad Lidge, all eyes will be on Brad Lidge assuming the Phillies do indeed keep him in the closer spot for the postseason. I have a feeling he will be on a very short leash, don't be surprised if he gets yanked in favor of Ryan Madson if he finds himself in any kind of trouble. The Phillies know Lidge was one of the heroes of 2008 but they want to give themselves the best chance to win again in '09.

Honorable Mentions: Cliff Lee, Raul Ibanez, J.A. Happ

The Prediction:

The Rockies steal one away from the Phillies at The Bank and when Philadelphia travels to Denver, bullpen uncertainties eventually lead to their demise. The Rockies are damn near as hot as they were two years ago, and a large chunk of that team is still on the roster so they know how to win postseason games. The Phillies have the overall better lineup and rotation, but the Rockies will use clutch hitting and solid outings from starters to send the Phillies home.

Rockies in 4

Monday, October 5, 2009

It All Comes Down to This

If you would've told me a month ago that today the Minnesota Twins would be one game away from clinching the AL Central I would've called you a stupid liar, and an idiot... and I would've thrown a rock at you.

Well, here we are. The team that refuses to just go away like everyone thought they would is now finding themselves in yet another one game playoff to decide the AL Central. This has been anything but a dream season; our best pitcher is out for the season with a wrist injury, our former MVP has a fractured back, our 3rd baseman has a back made of glass, and Nick Punto and Matt Tolbert are in the everyday lineup. Our one-time unhittable prized rookie is now struggling to even come out of the bullpen. But somehow, some way, the Twins are finding ways to win. Players are getting hot at the right time (Delmon Young's batting .529 with 3 homers and 10 RBI in the past 4 days, Michael Cuddyer: 10 homers and 29 RBI in the past month, and Jason Kubel contributed 16 extra base hits and 25 RBI over the same span). Speaking of spans, Denard has been arguably the team's second most valuable player this season providing great defense as well as offense. He has been dominating the leadoff spot and is a huge reason the Twins are where they are right now. He's definitely an exciting player to keep an eye on for years to come.

I'm not sure what's more incredible, the fact that there's been a one game playoff for the third consecutive year or the fact that the Twins have been involved in the last two.

I know what the majority of MLB fans are thinking, "who cares who wins this game? They're just gonna get dominated by the Yankees anyways like they did all season...durf durf durf" Yes the Twins did lose all seven of their games against the Bronx Bombers, but let's keep in mind that these were not all decisive victories...six of the seven games were decided by 3 runs or less. Oh yeah, and three of those games in New York were decided on walk off hits; the Twins were very much in all of those games. What has history taught us? The team that gets hot at the right time tends to make the deepest run in the playoffs, just ask the '07 Rockies (who might've cooled down a little too much when they swept the NLCS and had an extended break only to be swept by the Red Sox in the World Series). Hell, you might even be able to ask the '09 Rockies in a few weeks. The Twins offense is getting hot at the right time, and the Yankees have been known to choke in the postseason as of late. I'm not terrified by their pitching either, I think the Twins would have a legitimate shot at beating them.

But before any of that happens, they have some work to do Tuesday night.

Is there enough Metrodome magic left for one last run before the Twins move outdoors?

Mark May Expresses What We're All Thinking

This is one of the greatest screw-ups caught on live tv.

Credit goes to Detroit4Lyfe

He'll probably play it off like he was yawning, but I think we all know what Mark May was really thinking. Hopefully this stays up long enough for the world to enjoy.

UPDATE: Video is now down, can't find a replacement...but for the archives, it's a video of Lou Holtz rambling on about how Jimmy Clausen is the greatest athlete in the history of all sports ever and the camera suddenly cuts to Mark May making a suggestive gesture involving his hand and an open just didn't look good at all.

Long story short, Lou Holtz has lost any semblance left of his mind and needs to be let go if not for anything else but his disgusting bias towards Notre Dame. How's that Notre Dame BCS Champion pick lookin', Lou?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Metrodome Miracle Revisited

You've seen the Favre to Lewis touchdown over and over all week long. Probably so many times that your eyes are bleeding. What I really love about it is how ridiculous it really is. Yes, the play was ridiculous, but there's more to it than that.

Vikings fans haven't seen too many plays like that one. A hell of a pass and a hell of a catch. It just so happens that Brett Favre was playing quarterback for the Vikings. It's so strange to think that the player I grew up hating created one of the best plays in Vikings history.

In a scenario that I've completely made up, there's only one person that would find the Favre game-winner even stranger. A Packers fan goes into a coma after Favre retired as a Packer and wakes up to see the end of the Vikings game on Sunday. So much confusion. Favre is a Viking. Favre throws a touchdown pass to Greg Lewis with two seconds left to take a win from the 49ers. I'm guessing this person probably thinks that they are either in an alternate universe or hell has frozen over. A part of this person wishes that they were still comatose.

I love that scenario so much because now this person has to look forward to Monday night when the Packers play the Vikings and Brett Favre is wearing purple. Things sure do have a strange way of working out, don't they?